Ich bin müüüüüüüde

I might as well have written this song. Actually I wish I was sleeping right now.

Oh, by the way, I'm in Germany!

It was too hectic to write a blog entry yesterday, but my legs feel like lead right now so I am going to stay put for a little while to tell you all about it.

After a sendoff dinner with my family in Queens, they took me to JFK so I could arrive two hours before my flight. I had two suitcases, both under 50 lbs, and a carry-on. Once everything was figured out at the airport, my mom started crying, which was going to make me cry, so I finally said goodbye and went through security without a hitch. While in JFK, the fire alarm lights kept randomly flashing, which was slightly terrifying, but apparently it didn't mean anything. The flight itself was fine, but honestly, I preferred United over Lufthansa. They had better food and more leg room. (Actually, I barely ate the food because I was so nervous.) Maybe it was because this was a 747 rather than a 757 but I kind of hit the girl next to me in the face when I climbed over her to go to the bathroom, so...

Oh, you know my goal of sleeping the entire flight? Didn't happen. I barely slept at all because my mind wouldn't stop racing, of course. I tend to have anxiety anyways, and being on a plane didn't help. At one point, when the lights were on, I felt that it was safe to open the window shade next to me. I was staring out at the Atlantic, and my anxiety was definitely reaching a peak, and all of a sudden land started inching into view! This was a relief for some reason, as the anxiety was replaced by excitement. I later found out it was England, and even though I've never been interested in the UK, it was still awesome. So, even though I couldn't sleep, the plane ride went by relatively fast, and suddenly, I was in Germany. Dan, another kid from Stonehill, had taken the same flight as me so we went to the baggage claim together, and there wasn't a problem. Well, actually, I tried to get a luggage cart but then after some confusion realized I needed to pay 2 euros for it, which is stupid, but I did it anyway, because I was not about to carry everything through the airport.

Somehow, one of the guys in charge of the program spotted us right away and took us to a bus where everyone else was waiting, seeing as we were the last to arrive. I awkwardly walked to the back of the bus and greeted everyone. While driving from Frankfurt to Heidelberg, our program instructor gave us a guidebook with a lot of good info, thank goodness. Then she explained that the bus was going to drop everyone off near their StudentenWohnung with one of the guides. I ended up being in her group, which consisted of four girls who lived in the same building as each other, and Taylor, who lives in the building next to me. This was lucky, as I actually know him through a mutual friend of ours so we had already connected on Facebook.

And, wouldn't you know it, my room was the last stop. I'm living suite-style in former US Military housing (strange I know), so my perks are a fence and a screen in the window. Unfortunately I'm on the fourth floor, and my poor little legs aren't used to such a thing. I live in a single like everyone else, and I'm in what appears to be a suite. There's a nice kitchen and a shared bathroom, and I think two other people are supposed to live with me, but as of right now there seems to be one person...and it's a guy. Yup, co-ed suites, aren't I lucky? I haven't even seen him yet so I don't know what do about that, because we still have to figure out a cleaning schedule, but it's rather peaceful. My room is very plain: a bed, a closet, drawers, a desk, a chair, and a big window that lacks curtains as of now. The worst part is that the bed is not soft whatsoever, and mattress toppers are actually wicked expensive. But, hey, I checked for bedbugs and we're good! I think the room is the perfect size. I'll post pictures of it soon, but right now it's still kind of a mess because I haven't had time to personalize it.

Anyway, I had a little time to unpack before Taylor and I went to brave the public transportation. Riding the S-Bahn (basically an above-ground subway) was actually incredibly easy, because the AJY program gave us passes, and they don't even check when you get on the train anyway. Plus, the ride was smooth and relatively quick. We got off in Bismarckplatz, the center of town, and walked down the (long) main road to the AJY study center to use the computers and eventually have a pizza party. The pizza party was kind of awkward, because even though I had spent time getting to know a few people before, we were suddenly all shoved in a small room together (all 36 of us) and it was loud and slightly chaotic. When that was over, we had the night to do whatever we wanted, so I followed some people (including Taylor, because I figured we ought to stick together since we live close, and he's really nice) to a bar. I had beer like everyone else, which of course I did not like because I think beer is gross, but I drank half of it, so that's a step up. We actually went to another bar afterward, and I had a gin fizz, which was actually quite good despite the fact that I don't like limes, and it wasn't too strong at all.

Before getting on the S-Bahn home, we walked to the river to look at the old, Roman style bridge. The city is beautiful and honestly doesn't even seem real to me. It looks like the Bavarian Village in the Yankee Candle Village, or even the German part of Epcot. I'll post pictures when I get the chance, but at this particular moment I know I could fall asleep if I close my eyes. The reason I'm so tired is because, even though my anxiety went away as soon as I got off the plane, it returned that night. I had met some cool people and had a good time and nothing was catastrophic, but yet I awoke in a cold sweat after an hour of sleep, and I was having a bit of a panic attack for some reason. I actually thought I'd get sick. (PS, I was hospitalized for the stomach flu in January, and it was so traumatic that I now have a major irrational fear of throwing up, so excuse any future references.) I couldn't get back to sleep because I was wide awake and I just felt anxious even though I can't even figure out why. I even popped Pepto Bismol a few times because my stomach was so upset with nerves. Eventually I fell asleep, but I think I must've only slept around 4 hours total, which wasn't good considering I hadn't slept the "night" on the plane before either.

The next day, Taylor and I arranged to meet at the bakery next to our S-bahn stop at 8:45am, because we had to be at the study center for 9:30. Even though the apple strudel was good, I made the biggest mistake of the day: I accidentally bought a big bottle of sparkling water. I don't know if you know this, but I'd like to make it clear that I. HATE. SPARKLING WATER. (I don't like carbonation in general, and I looove water, so to ruin water for me is just a sin.) At the AJY center we filled out visa forms and then were led into a room for the "flea market" which was essentially buying used items that AJY students from previous years were selling. This was much different than I expected. I thought it would be bigger, like a tag sale or something, but all of us were cramped into a little room and I couldn't see over people so a lot of things were gone quickly. It was pretty disappointing, but I diiiid buy a phone for $10 US, I just have to figure out how to add money to the SIM card because it's pay-as-you-go. But it's definitely a better deal than what I'd find in a store, so I'm happy.

Finally, we walked pretty far to hand in visa forms that we all filled out at the study center. And I mean a LOT. We also got our generic photos taken at a department store, where I found out that mattress toppers cost too much money, so I'm stuck with my uncomfy bed for now. Luckily I managed to buy some mint chocolate chip gelato (and normal water after all of this time!), and it was so delicious that I no longer felt any pain. When the visa stuff was finished, some of us went back to the study center even though I was about ready to pass out. I really, really just wanted to go back and take a nap but I knew that if I did, I'd miss the dinner plans. A few of us decided to cook food we'd buy at a supermarket and eat all together, but that never ended up materializing because the others didn't have internet access and we had no way to keep in touch with them. So, Taylor and I went to Rohrbach Markt, which is where our S-Bahn stop is, but we couldn't find a grocery store or any decent restaurants. Instead we ended up eating at another random pizza place and it was actually pretty good. Eventually we realized that the supermarket was in the other direction from our dorms, and we picked up a few things. (Bananas and Gummi Bears for me!) Then, Taylor went to go meet up with some guys at a bar downtown, but I'm so exhausted that I decided to stay in and rest. Naturally, it's already later than I wanted to be asleep.

But, I have one last thing to talk about: the language. I can usually understand when other people in the program are talking (except for one of the leaders who talks very fast and a kid who seems to be fluent) but I am too shy to talk myself. The only time I really spoke in German for more than a few sentences was when we all had to introduce ourselves, and I was only able to do it so well because I was practicing my lines in my head beforehand. I know I shouldn't second guess myself, but I can't help but be intimidated. On Thursday we take placement exams that decide which level group we'll be in for the preliminary German course. I assume I'll be placed in the lower one, but as long as I eventually learn to speak, I'll be happy. I wish I could be like Bart Simpson in the episode he goes to France, and out of nowhere he realizes that after being immersed he can speak fluently to a police officer, but something tells me The Simpsons isn't entirely realistic.

Well, that's really all I have for now, and I'm going to head off to bed. Hopefully my next entries won't be so long unless they're exciting! But as a reward for reading the whole thing, I present to you this clip from Arrested Development: